New rap song, will someone review it?

Once again if you like radio rap feel free to live, this isn't for
you. A little more graphic. MehWhatever.

I've been way too strong for way too long,
Cant do nothing right, and I've been wronged
So many times it seems like I got nothing left
The death of me comin, cant take it, cant shake
This, feelin so low im under the dirt, I live with
The worms, it's so sickening, im growing
iller with the quickness. And with this sickness
Comes cold stillness, flat-lining by my own two hands
I know I cant, find a haven to bring me safeness
And in this place it's not a, hell on earth, no, it gets
Much worse, the pain, it hurts. The drugs don't work
Makin me jerk this chain round my throat, to
Make me choke. This chain's made of rope, tied to a
Tree. To set me free, I tie that knot, make my breathing
Stop. Wake up dreaming, break that clock. Wish it was part
Of reality, can't face this tragedy. It's sad to see. So young
And so vibrant, an obsession with blood and with violence.
God ain't shit but a tyrant, no faith to be found.
He brings you up to tear you down, You go through some shit
then you're in the ground. A piece of granite, they took you
For granted, when you were alive, now you're not an they can't
Stand it.

Brain encaged by the engraving of rage, learned it at a young age
You know what they say, insane in the membrane, my sanity slain
This shit's crazy. The darkness, it rains, not on a parade this time

But on the frame of my mind. My skulls cracked from front to back
And out spills the black. Into my bones, into my blood, streaming
Through veins. Forces me to go insane, can't be tamed. Lion-hearted
Breaking out of my cage. The terror commences, no more minor offenses
Follow the stencils drawn by, Bundy and Dahmer, just picture it
fouler.
Scaring the cowards, hearing them howl, leaving them flowers for their

Funerals. Cutting medullas, leaving em pukin and twitchin. Numb to
this shit,
like a Novocain shot to your lips im cockin the clip, watchin it rip
shots through
your hip, buck-shots from the shotty, leave you bloodied, like John
Gotti. Al Capone,
The Don Corleone. Tie a brick to your body and you drown all alone, on
the ocean
Floor. It get's more bloody, more gory, listen to my story, of glory
and guts. I'm
Tearin you up, I'm bringin the horror. Lynchin on that ripgut, I got
it sewn up and
Pieced together like John Kramer, I want to play a game too, but his
game's lamer
See I'm no gamer but I know I need tamin. like Jason in the basement
of the lake
goin crazy, can't sleep right, my dreams bringin me fright, run from
my room,
out on Elm Street tonight With Freddy watchin over me, showin
Me, what it's like to be a stalker. A stranger, the cabin you walk
through, I'm bringin
the danger Undetected until you upset me, shouldn't have, let me.
In, to this game played by
sins with who you call killers, are my only friends.